mary noticed her boyfriend had a habit
whenever they went to a restaurant he'd sit
facing the door, lazily glancing out the window every few minutes.
mary's boyfriend was a well intentioned bore,
kind and attractive, but thoroughly unstimulating.
mary began to imagine, for fun, that he was a spy.
maybe he sat facing the door to spot would-be
assassins who would kill him
or even worse, kill her.
she felt safe, though, with her super spy boyfriend.
she decided to test him
by unscrewing the top of the
salt shaker while he was in the bathroom.
if he could steal government secrets and dispatch
invisible, spy-like justice,
surely he'd diffuse her attempt at sodium sabotage.
she began to regret her decision five minutes later,
when he left the diner displeased
a hamburger left on his plate with a small mountain of salt
on top, the upper bun discarded.
though she apologized later that night,
the relationship was over.
